Clean Pipe Dreams

Dirty glass make you cringe? You are not alone. Not only is it unsightly AF, a resin-caked pipe, bowl, or rig can ruin the taste of whatever you’re smoking. Which was fine when you were smoking the dirt weed of yore—it was gonna taste like dirt regardless—but you’re not just hitting that not-sticky-just-icky stuff anymore. In this modern age of legal weed, let’s agree to keep bowls clean, keep the terpenes tasting tasty, and keep your high a high-end experience.

Whether your a casual consumer whose glass pipe isn’t quite as pristine as it was when you impulse purchased it from the gas station or you’re a hard-core dabber whose glass rig looks like its insides have been coated with a maple syrup-like substance that’s hardened to plastic, it’s time to give your glass a good spring cleaning. The High Holiday is coming.

There are a few ways you can tackle this, and making your own pipe-cleaning solution from scratch is the easiest, cheapest solution, so start there. According to the experts at GRAV, leading makers of high-quality scientific-grade glass bongs and pipes, you’ll need three things: isopropyl alcohol (91% or 99%, back in stock after pandemic-induced scarcity), coarse kosher salt, and a Tupperware-style bowl with a lid that’s large enough to fit your piece. Some additional not-necessary-but-nice-to-have items to consider: rubber gloves, a funnel, rubber stoppers such as GRAV cleaning plugs, and some q-tips or pipe cleaners.

Mix equal parts of the alcohol and salt in a bowl large enough to fit the piece you’d like to clean, put in your piece, and let it soak for an hour or more—up to a day to break up thick tar and resin. Then fill your bong or pipe with solution using a funnel, plug the openings with your fingers and shake it—carefully, away from any hard surfaces. The q-tips and/or pipe cleaners can help with any particularly stubborn spots. Rinse with cold water and voila! Clean glass. Most of the time.

If you’ve got a few years of a grime from a gram a day dab habit coating the inside of your multi-tiered percolator, and you’re laughing at the notion that cleaning it could be easy, note that I didn’t say you had to clean it, just that getting it clean is easy: hire a professional. The best ones will come to your house, pick up your piece, work their magic, and return your piece as good as new—and they’ll do it at a price that won’t empty your bank account. If you’ve got a particularly complex piece of glass with lots of curves, corners, and parts that would take you hours and hours to clean, bring in the experts.